How Many Surgeons Does it Take to Remove a Lightbulb from a Pakistani's Ass

Forget about dropping the soap, Pakistani prisoners should apparently be on the lookout for magical ass-navigating light bulbs. This almost tops the great gerbil rumor of the mid 1980s. Who am I kidding, I don’t think anything will ever top that one. Did you know that there is actually a verb to describe gerbil-related sexual practice: Gerbiling or Gerbil Stuffing.
Well back to the Pakistani prisoner, this is no rumor. And I have the photo to prove it (courtesy of Yahoo News.)The moral of the story: A society will never thrive under prohibition. The following story has been awarded with the Alan Dershowitz seal of approval:

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan,
says he woke up last weekend with a glass light bulb in his anus. On Wednesday
night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour
operation to remove the object.
"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I
had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a
grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern
central city of Multan. "We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab
at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very
complicated situation."
Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for
making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first
told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.
"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they
told me this," Mohammad said. "I don't know who did this to me. Police or other
prisoners."
The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered
anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged
him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

In other news, I still cannot figure out how to sucessfully execute a block quote.