Advanced Table Tennis

Introduction to Table Tennis is but one of many physical eduation courses I failed at Pomona before ultimately passing Bowling. I probably would have failed Bowling too had it not been for my amazing teammates/life partners Rebecca "Backdoor Becky" Sanchez and Colin "Nasty Nate" Platt." However, the exploits of Dirty Ding's Kingpins on the waxed lanes at the Brunswick Upland Bowl is a story for another day because today and the rest of the week belongs to our respected elders making war, not love, on the ping pong tables of Bremen, Germany.

The World Veterans Table Tennis Championship is currently underway in Bremen, Germany (Do you get the feeling that Germany is monopolizing the best events these days from the recent Beard and Moustache Championship in Hesel to the upcoming 2006 World Cup?)


Dorothy De Low, (pictured above) a 95-year-old from Sydney, pounds a vicious back-spinning backhand against that youngster, 94-year-old Yukie Uchida (pictured below) from Japan.

If you are interested in finding a good program in the United States for a aging family member or friend may I suggest the Sunrise Table Tennis Club in sunny Clearwater, Florida. The STTC Seniors led by Nahed “The Silver Scorpion” Williams, Margo “The Magnificent” Lindsay and Jose “Joe” Borges, just dominate the competition at the Florida Senior Games.

an addendum to alex's post

the best 13 years of your life.

Currently a college student myself, I realize how much fun this year has been and how much fun the next three will be. I was recently talking to one of my friends who's a third year. She had just met with her academic advisor who told her that she could petition to graduate this year, because she had already fulfilled her requirements. We both laughed at the notion of leaving college a year early when you could spend another year fucking around and having fun, and maybe taking some classes.

I get that. That doesn't mean that I'll want to stay at UCSD for 5 years or, say, 13.


Johnny Lechner is a 29-year-old undergrad at the University of Wisconsin - Whitewater. I don't think I stand alone when I say that I had never heard of this school until reading about Mr. Lechner. Being dubbed a "real life Van Wilder," Lechner realized after four years of college that that wouldn't be enough for him. So her stuck around for another year. And another. And another. And another. You get the idea. He will be entering his 13th year as an undergrad (making him a super-super-super-super-super-super-super-super-super senior) in the Fall of 2006. He was going to graduate this year, but withdrew his application to graduate when he realized, "Hey, I've been here for 12 years and I have yet to go abroad!"

This guy has his own wikipedia.org entry, countless articles/blogs about him, and (of course) his own (awesome) website. From his site (not surprisingly named www.johnnylechner.com):

The upcoming school year will be lived like a movie since Johnny has created a "super-secret-double-probation" list of the final 100 things that he needs to do before his graduation day.

I only hope he came up with that title of the list on his own. Yeah, college!! Among many stupid features on his blog (1) a link to donate to pay his college tuition?! no, thank you; 2) AIM buddy icons of Johnny; 3) Johnny paraphernalia; 4) pictures of Johnny at one of - presumably - many toga parties), there is a list of his accomplishments while in college. Granted, some of them are commendable: Dean's list, 4.0 in a semester, etc., but one of them stood out as moderately ridiculous:

Recognized for exception guest service (Olive Garden)

I mean, really...

Johnny currently has 234 college credits (100 more than he needed to graduate from UWW) and if he had graduated this year, would have received degrees in education, communications, theather, health, and women's studies. The UW Board of Regents implemented a new tax once they realized how long he'd be staying. Like most public state universities (mine included!), the tuition at UWW is lower for residents of that state, subsidized by the taxpayers themselves. Johnny got to enjoy this benefit of being a resident of Wisconsin for five years, after which his tuition essentially doubled (the tax has been dubbed the "slacker tax").

Real Life Were-Rabbit

The BBC and the Mail & Guardian are reporting that sharp-shooters have been brought in to defend allotment patches in Northumberland suffering from a real-life "curse of the were-rabbit".

The ravenous giant rabbit, named after the famed Wallace and Gromit character, is reported to have ripped up dozens of prize-winning leeks and turnips.

Now growers in Felton, near Morpeth, have drafted in licensed gamekeepers with air rifles to halt the rampage.

But animal welfare workers have called for the animal to be trapped instead.
Four gardeners described the rabbit as having one ear larger than the other.

Teeth Chicken and Toothed Chickens

Urban Dictionary defines teeth chicken as "Any particle of food that you happen to pick out of your teeth many hours after the meal's over. Named so because the particle is usually white and has a chicken meat-like texture."


CNN reports that scientists have grown chicken embryos with teeth. Cells were transplanted from mice into the chicken embryos -- called chimeras.

"Basically, this tells you that the bird still has the genetic information required to initiate tooth development, if their are cells capable of responding to it," Professor Sharpe, from King's College, London, told The Times newspaper Wednesday.

Discovery Channel News reports that these same scientists have gone a step further inducing chickens born with a mutated gene associated with tooth development into growing functioning teeth.

FEMA raps for preparedness

"Yo Katrina... I ain't scared
cause FEMA's got my back I know we're prepared!"

The following is a rap son prepared for the FEMA website by Scott J. Wolfson, son of Marc Wolfson, former content manager for the website.

Disaster...it can happen anywhere
But we've got a few tips, so you can be prepared
For flood, tornadoes, or even a 'quake
You've got to be ready-so your heart don't break
Disaster prep is your responsibility
And mitigation is important to our agency.
People helping people is what we do,
And FEMA is there to help see you though
When disaster strikes, we our at our best-
But we're ready all the time, cause disasters don't rest

milk and cookies...

If you had the choice between eating cookies or drinking milk what would you choose? Now, what if the cookies were given to you on a plate with a note attached, reading "We made these cookies just for you, hope you enjoy them" and the milk had little green pellets in the bottom. You'd choose the cookies, right? Good decision.

A mom in Maine was found guilty of assisting her daughter and two friends in baking cookies with laxative pills crushed in them and giving them to their teacher at school. What she was thinking when she did this, I don't know, but she told the girls how to crush the Ex-Lax pills and mix them in the batter. The girls used the whole bottle. The teacher, being the good samaritan she is, gave the cookies to her students. Whoops.

Julie Hunt was arrested Friday after a police investigation into the attempted prank at Carrabec Community School in Anson that sickened four seventh- and eighth-grade children.

Meanwhile, in Oregon, a teenage girl tried to kill two classmates by putting d-Con rat poison in the girls' milk. Clearly this girl cared a little bit less about being caught (she just wanted these girls dead) so she didn't think to, you know, conceal the green pellets in any way, shape, or form. Her psychiatrist so aptly noted that this poor girl can't tell right from wrong. No, you think? Like the targets, I would avoid drinking any milk that had green pellets sitting at the bottom. I love milk, but not that much.


The consequences? The Maine mom is being charged with a misdemeanor while the 12-year-old Oregonian gets to spend the next 12 years of her life in a juvenile detention center (I wonder how the other girls at the Hillcrest Girls' School will feel about eating meals with this one once she gets there...).

And on a tangent, while looking for a good picture of a glass of milk, I found that milk is Minnesota's state drink. Now I have validation for liking it so much -- it's my roots (said with the Minnesotan accent, of course)!

the cutest hybrid yet!

when puppy meets hot dog...

who could blame him, really?

Finally something interesting emerges from the otherwise bland national security/whore/bribery/poker scandal:

The man Mr. Goss first selected to become the C.I.A.'s executive director, Michael V. Kostiw, had to turn down the job when it surfaced in the news media that he had resigned from the agency in the 1980's after being caught shoplifting bacon.

If there'd been a good bacon-loving fellow like Kostiw at the agency, well, I don't want to say we would have already won the War on Terror, but, really, we definetly would have.


Thanks to BlogNAC's UK/Intelligence correspondent for the link.

really, i'm terrified...

To continue the trend of animal-related posts (and I'm considering Noah's "air jaws" post to be animal-related), I thought I might post this scary, scary turn of events...

Hunters in Canada recently killed what tests have confirmed to be a grizzly-polar bear hybrid. Now, I don't know how other people feel about this, but I'm a little terrified about the animal hybridization that's occuring... King Kong and a raccoon? Horses and donkeys? Grizzly bears and polar bears? I don't even want to imagine what other terrible things biology has planned for the future. Let's just hope that things don't get too messy (i.e. birds with fangs, snakes with legs, etc.).



Here, the aborigine and the hunters pose with their prize. And I present a contest. What should this new animal be called? (Is it weird to give the hybrid a name after it's been killed? ....eh, oh well). Some options have been presented:

Stirling said others in his office have been tossing around in jest possible names for the hybrid: a "pizzly" or a "grolar bear." One colleague said they ought to call it "nanulak," combining the Inuit names for polar bear -- "nanuk" -- and grizzly bear, which is "aklak."

I don't like any of these. Let's think of better ones. And keep praying that this (or worse hybrids) don't come down to the good ol', innocent US).

the shark's out of the bag

Some of you may be familiar with the story of the MIT grad student who tried to order custom Nikes off their website with "Sweat Shop" written on them and had his request refused. If you're not, you should check out the pretty amazing email exchange that ended up getting the would-be shoe buyer on the Today show:

Dear NIKE iD,

Thank you for your quick response to my inquiry about my custom ZOOM XC USA running shoes. Although I commend you for your prompt customer service, I disagree with the claim that my personal iD was inappropriate slang. After consulting Webster's Dictionary, I discovered that "sweatshop" is in fact part of standard English, and not slang. The word means: "a shop or factory in which workers are employed for long hours at low wages and under unhealthy conditions" and its origin dates from 1892. So my personal iD does meet the criteria detailed in your first email.

Your web site advertises that the NIKE iD program is "about freedom to choose and freedom to express who you are." I share Nike's love of freedom and personal expression. The site also says that "If you want it done right...build it yourself." I was thrilled to be able to build my own shoes, and my personal iD was offered as a small token of appreciation for the sweatshop workers poised to help me realize my vision. I hope that you will value my freedom of expression and reconsider your decision to reject my order.

Thank you,
Jonah Peretti

Now, lots of you might read that and be all like, "Oh Nike, you got served!" Not me. I read that and think, "Oooh, custom shoes." It's because I have no soul.

Well, the wait has been nearly impossible. I ordered my shoes in late March and they only arrived yesterday. According to UPS tracking data, the shipment originated in Thailand, but there was a major delay in Tao-Yuan, Taiwan when "THE AIRLINE OFF-LOADED PACKAGES." That's never the kind of thing you want to hear. It was cryptic messages like that which led me to believe that I'd never see my shoes. But then, like the first ray of sunshine after months of rainy barefoot darkness, they appeared.

They come in a bag like fancy shoes.

Oh, do you like those colors? Because I PICKED THEM!

MOTHERFUCKIN' SHARK SHOES!!!1!!!!!1!!!

at least he wasn't nominated for the supreme court

QUESTION: Jonathan Landay with Knight Ridder. I'd like to stay on the same issue, and that had to do with the standard by which you use to target your wiretaps. I'm no lawyer, but my understanding is that the Fourth Amendment of the Constitution specifies that you must have probable cause to be able to do a search that does not violate an American's right against unlawful searches and seizures. Do you use --

GEN. HAYDEN: No, actually -- the Fourth Amendment actually protects all of us against unreasonable search and seizure.

QUESTION: But the --

GEN. HAYDEN: That's what it says.

QUESTION: But the measure is probable cause, I believe.

GEN. HAYDEN: The amendment says unreasonable search and seizure.

QUESTION: But does it not say probable --

GEN. HAYDEN: No. The amendment says --

QUESTION: The court standard, the legal standard --

GEN. HAYDEN: -- unreasonable search and seizure.

Full exchange here, via Atrios.

Hmm, let's go to the source on this one.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

How confident was Gen. Hayden, Bush's nominee for CIA chief, in the rightness of his answer? Just confident enough to discredit everyone working at his former agency. Well done idiot assface.

Just to be very clear -- and believe me, if there's any amendment to the Constitution that employees of the National Security Agency are familiar with, it's the Fourth. And it is a reasonableness standard in the Fourth Amendment.

there is no college that teaches you how to control a pack of dogs.

Today in the NYT Magazine Deborah Solomon has a chat with "Dog Whisperer" Cesar Millan.

Q: As the founder of the Dog Psychology Center in Los Angeles, you claim that Americans are driving their pets to the brink of insanity by smothering them with affection.

The U.S. is a very assertive society with people, but not when it comes to dogs. People are soft and kissy with dogs. That is why dogs take over. All dogs in America are suffering from the same problem — lack of exercise and lack of leadership.

On your television show, "Dog Whisperer," and in your new book, "Cesar's Way," you encourage dog owners to treat their pets with the "calm assertiveness" of a natural pack leader. Why is that state apparently so hard to achieve?

Because Americans are focused on making money. And to make a lot of money, you have to be hyper.

And you believe that we're projecting our own neuroses onto our dogs, even when we leave the house?

If what you do is say, "I'm sorry, baby, Mommy has to go, blah, blah, blah," the dog doesn't understand what you are saying. He only understands that you are in a soft state and he is dominating you.

How can I, a non-dog-psychologist layperson, learn to calmly assert myself over my dog and not allow him to dominate? The interview doesn't offer many suggestions but, luckily, a lawsuit filed against Millan since the NYT Magazine went to print may provide some tips.

A television producer is suing dog trainer Cesar Millan, star of TV's The Dog Whisperer, claiming that his Labrador retriever was injured at Millan's training facility after being suffocated by a choke collar and forced to run on a treadmill.

In a lawsuit filed Thursday in Superior Court, 8 Simple Rules producer Flody Suarez says he took 5-year-old Gator to the Dog Psychology Center on Feb. 27 to deal with fears of other dogs and strangers.

Hours after dropping the dog off at the facility, Suarez claimed a worker called to inform him the animal had been rushed to a veterinarian. He later found the dog "bleeding from his mouth and nose, in an oxygen tent gasping for breath and with severe bruising to his back inner thighs," the lawsuit claims.

The facility's workers allegedly placed a choke collar on the dog, pulled him onto a treadmill and forced him to "overwork." Suarez says he spent at least $25,000 on medical bills and the dog must undergo more surgeries for damage to his esophagus.

Be sure, though, to remain absolutely calm when choking the dog. They can sense if you are agitated. And always speak in a whisper. They like that.

Shoes the size of Rhode Island...

I wear large shoes, so I have empathy for anyone who has to look for shoes sized nearly twice my own size. I don't know any such people personally, but have found one in Igor Vovkovinskiy. Fortunately for young Igor, his shoes come to him like an order from zappos.

Shoemaker Georg Wessels traveled from Germany to personally deliver some king-size footwear to a Rochester, Minnesota man.

Igor Vovkovinskiy, who stands at 7-foot-8, received three pairs of size-26 shoes crafted specifically to fit his feet.

As part of his business, Wessels makes shoes free-of-charge for the world's 10 tallest people, which include the 23-year-old Ukrainian immigrant.


These are not the world's biggest shoes however. That title belongs to the Marikina City, which crafted the world's largest pair of shoes, each measuring 5.5 meters long, 2.25 meters wide and 1.83 meters high. The heel alone measures 41 centimeters or 16 inches. The P2-million shoes can reportedly fit to a 37.5-meter or 125-foot giant. Around 30 people could put their feet into the colossal shoes simultaneously.

may's baby of the month

to follow up on the baby of the month for february that alex elected, i found blogNAC's baby for may (a boy this time, but also from china like baby Wang Qian).


welcome to the family, little one.

let's just hope he doesn't introduce this nasty habit to the gymnastic baby. these two hobbies don't fit very well together...

For the cause

Vince was asking if there was a way he could contribute to the benefit for Ryan's mom. If you would like to, you can paypal me (I have a link over in the sidebar). I promise to give the $$ to the benefit committee.

Thanks.

special taste

At BlogNAC parties, Alex is known as the master of alcohol infusions. His specialty is a cucumber-infused vodka that, in my opinion, goes especially well with ginger ale. Alex cuts the cucumbers into long strips rather than into chunks, so the end result, besides being tasty, is quite aesthetically appealing. The makers of the following infusion seem to have gotten the tasty part down, but are still struggling with its appearance.

BUDAPEST, Hungary - Hungarian builders who drank their way to the bottom of a huge barrel of rum while renovating a house got a nasty surprise when a pickled corpse tumbled out of the empty barrel, a police magazine Web site reported.

It's too bad that a naked man fell out of the barrel because until then the Hungarian builders had especially enjoyed the rum's unique properties.

According to the Web site, workers said the rum in the 300-liter barrel had a “special taste” so they even decanted a few bottles of the liquor to take home.

A new work/spanking scandal...

Getting spanked at work in front of your colleagues is old news... The new news is embezzling money from work to pay for spankings after work.

A charity foundation's former accountant, who admitted embezzling heart disease research funds that he used to pay an Ohio dominatrix to beat him, was sentenced Tuesday to two to six years in prison.

Abraham Alexander, 45, of East Meadow, N.Y., pleaded guilty to grand larceny in March. Alexander admitted he stole $237,162 from the Cardiovascular Research Foundation between Nov. 2, 2003, and April 20, 2005.

What I don't really understand about this particular spanking scandal is why Mr. Alexander, who lives in NY, was travelling all the way to Ohio for his red-assing. I am pretty sure such services could have been procured much closer to home and for less than the $200,000+ he spent. Jesus, he should have just joined a fraternity, the annual dues are lower than the $250 he spent per hour on this woman.

toe in the pooper, or...

a stab in the ass...

Canadian newspaper The Sun reported on May 3 the stabbing of a man. What's so significant about a stabbing, you ask? Well, this man, unlike most conventional stabbing cases, was stabbed in the bum.

The 38-year-old man was taken to the hospital after the paramedics received a report of a stabbing at 11:20pm. Blood was gushing from his buttocks and he suffered major blood loss from his "tender area."

Of course, the Sun felt that they could not publish this story without making an egregiously offensive pun.

Maybe he assed for it.

Silly Canadians.

Food for thought....

I often remark that what I miss most about San Francisco is not the family or friends I left behind when I moved to DC, but the burritos. So, here is a brief list of what I consider to be the taquerias with the best burritos in San Francisco.

Tacqueria Cancun: With two Mission Street locations that are open until 2am, I frequently found myself here after drinking in the Mission. I always indulge in the super steak burrito with its perfectly crisped tortilla and delicious bean, meat and cheese inards. This is the best burrito in San Francisco, however there is significant risk of severe post-burrito hangover.

Pancho Villa/El Toro Taquerias: These establishments were the Mission taquerias of my youth. Although I prefer Cancun, I have been known to return to Pancho Villa and El Toro when laziness/inebriation prevents me from walking the additional four blocks to Cancun.

Gordo Burrito: This burrito is the antithesis of the classic Mission-style burrito, which means that it is delicious in an entirely different way. In a departure from the carne asada, at Gordo I swear by the super boiled chicken burrito with everything. The end result if often a wet pile of chicken and rice surrounded by the remnants of a super-saturated tortilla, but it is worth it. I have heard that Gordo is owned by a Japanese family and my friend James claims that those making the burritos are Middle Eastern, but have not confirmed the first charge and am supremely confident that James is an idiot. Regardless, if you find yourself in the Richmond or the Sunset and can't make the trek crosstown I highly recommend Gordo.

i wonder if he found anything up there...

Now this is just crossing a line...

In the picture below, he player in red is the Los Angeles Clippers' Chris Kaman, and the player in white is the Denver Nuggets' Reggie Evans.


If you can't tell from the picture, Evans is currently in the process of reaching his hand between Kaman's legs, grabbing his testicles, and pulling them back to prevent Kaman from going up for the rebound.

In response to this unsolicited prostate exam, Kaman said:

He grabbed my nuts. ... [Reporter: Was it painful?] Oh wow, um, no. It just shocked me at first. It was so surprising. I was like, 'Wow.' You know like... It was unbelievable, I mean it's an exper-- In a basketball game where you're playing basketball with someone just to grab your nuts and then not-- sometimes, you know, like you're boxing out and you hit somebody or something, whatever. But this dude reached from behind me, grabbed my nuts and pulled them, you know, back towards-- tried to rip them off, basically. I just, I mean I couldn't believe it. Honestly the first time I was like, 'What just happened? I just got violated,' right? I'm just playing a basketball game. So then, to think maybe you know I just drill this dude. And I'm like, 'Man, you know, I do that and I'm on his level, to do what he just did. I can't afford to sit out a game, you know for money reasons and for, you know, reasons of missing the game. It's just not worth it,' so i just shove him a bit.

If I had testicles and someone did that to me, he would have gotten a lot more than a shove.

Codename: Apollo

A Brief Timeline of Carl Weathers' Life

1948 – Born. Louisiana.

1948-Early 70’s – Gym and acting lessons.

Early 70’s – Professional football. Oakland Raiders.

1974 – Retires from football to pursue acting career.

1976 – Rocky. Plays Apollo Creed.

Stay in school and use your brain. Be a doctor, be a lawyer, carry a leather briefcase. Forget about sports as a profession. Sports make ya grunt and smell. See, be a thinker, not a stinker.

1976-1987 – Various Rocky movies, probably getting laid a lot, having mixed feelings about only being called Apollo at bars/by women/by family.

1987 – Predator. Expresses desire to costars Ventura and Schwarzenegger to run an insurgent campaign for governor. Promises costars jobs in his administration, but privately plans on reneging, can’t have ‘roided-up meatheads like that on staff.

1987-1996 – Dead to me.

1996 – Happy Gilmore.

Just easing the tension, baby. Just easing the tension.

1996-2005 – Contrary to popular belief, not killed in a meth lab explosion. Little is known about this period. Some suspect this may have been the beginning of Weathers’ strategic partnership with the Pentagon, Codename: Apollo (over Weathers’ strong objections).

2005 – Arrested Development.

Let me tell you a little story about acting. I was doing this Showtime movie—Hot Ice with Anne Archer—never once touched my per diem. I’d go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup— baby, I got a stew going.

2006 – Rumored to be first in line to replace Donald Rumsfeld, based primarily on the success of his efforts to train U.S. soldiers shipping out to Iraq.

Out here, 150 miles northeast of Los Angeles, units of the 10th Mountain Division from Fort Drum, N.Y., are among the latest war-bound troops who have gone through three weeks of training that introduce them to the harsh episodes that characterize the American experience in Iraq.

In a 1,000-square-mile region on the edge of Death Valley, Arab-Americans, many of them from the Iraqi expatriate community in San Diego, populate a group of mock villages resembling their counterparts in Iraq. American soldiers at forward operating bases nearby face insurgent uprisings, suicide bombings and even staged beheadings in underground tunnels. Recently, the soldiers here, like their counterparts in Iraq, have been confronted with Sunni-Shiite riots. At one village, a secret guerrilla revolt is in the works.

It is a marriage of military technology and Hollywood fakery; some 350 Arabic-speaking Iraqi-Americans and plainclothes Nevada National Guardsman live here almost year-round to offer American trainees what one officer described as "a vortex of chaos." The insurgents even get acting lessons, coached by Carl Weathers, best known for his portrayal of the boxer Apollo Creed in the "Rocky" films.

Your face looks like a Dutch landscape..

And the winners are in from the Beard and Moustache Championships in Hesel, Germany...


In the freestyle competition, Elmar Weisser took the gold for his hairy windmill.

"Don't Spank Me. I'm Working" Case Update...

Update. Update.

A jury awarded $500,000 Friday to a woman who sued her employer after she was spanked in front of her colleagues in what the company called a camaraderie-building exercise.

The jury of six men and six women found that Janet Orlando had suffered from sexual harassment and sexual battery when she was paddled on her backside on three occasions during her employment at home security company Alarm One Inc. in Fresno.

sluts, eggs, and virgins

hello, blogNAC! before i write my first post, i feel as though i should introduce myself. i'm co-blogger Alex's little sister, Emily. that's all the introduction that i feel is necessary, so on to my post...

in what is quite possibly the best bathroom literature ever, there is a section entitled "allegedly genuine responses given by mothers seeking british child support, in the section asking for father's details" (concise chapter title, no?). some of these are so good that it made it impossible to choose just one. here are a few of my favorites:

i am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby. after all, when you eat a can of beans, you can't be sure which one made you fart.

i have never had sex with a man. i am awaiting a letter from the pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

so much about that night is a blur. the only thing that i remember for sure is delia smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. if i'd have stayed in and watched more tv rather than going to the party at [address given], mine might have remained unfertilized.

and, the best one...

i do not know the name of the father of my little girl. she was conceived at a party at [address given], where i had unprotected sex with a man i met that night. i do remember that the sex was so good that i fainted. if you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? thanks.

this all makes me really happy i don't have any illegitimate children for whom i need child support.