The Holy Cola

When I began my boycott of Coca-Cola last week I though that finding a replacement cola would be a relatively straight forward task and that I would be pleasantly re-caffeinated and carbonated in a matter of days. Ten days later I am still without cola, however I believe I may be one step closer to my goal (and to God.)

I originally thought that I would choose Pepsi as Coca-Cola's replacement because it is readily available, only slightly less delicious and without the awful anti-Union practices of Coca-Cola.

This Condom Cola story gave me pause as to whether I should in fact choose Pepsi.

While I realize that Pepsi India is not necessarily the same corporate entity as Pepsi USA, I do not excuse Pepsi USA from pushing an inferior latex-laced product pushed in India. Anyway, I do not believe in contraception in whatever form be it a condom or a can of cola.

After praying many days and nights on this vexing cola question, I asked myself "Alex, what would Jesus drink?" The answer came to me in the form of John 4:14 which states that "whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst."

Consequently, I will now be drinking Jesus Cola full time as it is the most refreshing and thirst-quenching cola man has ever known.