The Chuck Norris Random Fact Generator reveals that Chuck Norris and his famed Roundhouse Kick has been an important figure in almost every historical event ever. Here is a brief rundown.Biblical Times:
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Revolutionary War:
There is a line in the declaration of independence that reads, "All men are created equal with one exception: Chuck Norris is equal to 350,000 men." Thomas Jefferson had no choice but to add this line when Chuck Norris single-handedly and accidentally won the American Revolution while doing light calisthenics.
Civil War:
Chuck Norris ended the Civil War with a massive roundhouse kick the he referred to as the Emancipation Proclamation.
World War II:
Hitler committed suicide after hearing that Chuck Norris was swimming across the Atlantic to personally roundhouse kick him in the face.
Hiroshima was actually Chuck Norris pissing from a plane
The Future:
Chuck Norris will be cloned in the 31st Century and defeat the invading aliens by playing the theme from "Walker, Texas Ranger" on the largest sound system the resistance can find.
No comments:
Post a Comment