Thank goodness for a pretty little hat that she was wearing, which helped cushion the blow.It may seem implausible that a mere hat could prevent some kind of grievous head injury, but, my friends, I have seen this happen. With my OWN EYES!
One day, I believe it was one of the last days of finals in my last semester of college, I was sitting at my desk when I heard some obviously-inebriated voices coming from below my second story window. They were shouting at the girl who lived below me and I recognized the voices as belonging to certain friends of mine. Being somewhat sleep-deprived at that point, I thought it would be funny for me to open my window and yell at these drunks (by the way, did I mention it was like 1PM?) to shut the fuck up. Well, as I do this, my window-opening action knocks a ceramic ashtray off my windowsill and it falls, in what appeared to be slow motion, onto the head of one of the drunk shouters. It sort of bounces off her head, hangs in the air for another split-second, and then breaks into two pieces on the ground.
Now, the victim here, she was not happy with me. After taking a few seconds to regain her wits, she begins to shout again: "Noah, get the fuck down here, I am going to fuck you up you pussy!" Yes, it was a she. But she played water polo and could probably have done a good deal of fucking-up. And, you see, my not-so-clearly-sarcastic "Shut the fuck up" combined with the incredible accuracy of the ashtray had caused everyone to think that I threw the ashtray at her head intentionally. It took quite a bit of work to convince them otherwise. Some of the witnesses still believe I threw it.
Anyway, the victim was wearing at hat. So all she got was a nasty bump and a little cut. So hats can save lives, like those of my drunk friend and Eva Longoria. Maybe that's why Eva always wears hats, even when she is wearing little else.
This woman also chooses to play it safe.
1 comment:
If I comment on an old post like this, is anyone reading it? Oh well. Anyway, I was there!!!!!! I was not injured. I don't think I was drunk. But Noah did throw an ashtray from his window.
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