too much dirt can hurt, you know

Actual cards you can draw in a British board game:

You are turning into a rock star without a record. This is the liquid life. Don’t believe the hype—crack’s not addictive, just very moreish. Still, don’t become a slave to the stone or else you’ll lose the throne.

From the stone to the bone—you are starting to look skeletor. Do you really want some more? Okay bad bwai, break the rocks, hardcore.

Business is booming. Especially the sex dwarf and the teenage boys ’n’ girls. Let’s hope you can keep a lid on it—Pimp Snooky is back on the streets!

Call the doctor, pretty baby, ’cos I’m feeling sick. Did you do too many drugs? I did too many drugs. Lose all deals and you’re hospitalized in a coma until you roll a 1 to get out.

This sort of seems like a low-tech Grand Theft Auto to me, which is perfect for those times that you want to simulate depravity but have no access to a properly equipped TV. I have been trying to get this game ("Dollars and Dibbles") online but haven't been able to find it. My little cousin loves board games, and his parents don't allow TV, so I feel like this is a great way to show him what he's missing. From a web review:

In one round, I had committed an armed robbery, bought some fairly good E, sold it at a good price, burned down my old school just for the hell of it, and got off with a warning from the police based on my agreed cooperation with them on other suspects' crimes.

This is a game for 1-12 players and comes with a funky design including a pen in the shape of a syringe.