Fecal Beat

clip removed due to extreme annoyingness factor



I've been informed by my editor that I am to cover all matters poo in addition to happenings in what most of you bastards call "the middle."

I approach this task as religious types respond to their "calling." I am both captivated and repulsed by poo in the same way I imagine the clergy's worshipful adoration of the heavenly father must be thick with fear. I have lived my life in the shadow of poo.

I am absolutely disgusted by flatulence because if I can smell it that must mean there are poo particles in the air and therefore being brought into my mouth with each breath and covering my face. However, I can't seem to help pooking people in the pooper when I see a good target. Now that you know you're getting your information from from a qualified source, let us discuss the above video.

Some Japanese candid camera show is playing a "trick" on poor unsuspecting people who are simply trying to privately allow their excretory systems to finish a days work. The mark enters the porta-potty and is given the requisit amount of time to get properly situated to pee-pee or pass a BM. The base of the toilet is then lifted into the air putting a very private act on very public display. Matters are intesified by the Asian "squatter" style john, raising the chance of acutally seeing a log of the nasty hanging out of a butt.

This is beyond cruel, and if it's not criminal then it should be. Not only is it just so horribly embarrassing for the unwilling participant, but the innocent passerbys could very well be emotionally scared by the experience. And then there is the worst case scenario... a real live shit storm. Someones' urine or worse, acutal feces, might be taken of course by the suprised and scared producer of said products or by the wind blowing through the now open air bathroom. I can't really contemplate that anymore, my skin is crawling.