"I had an erection for ten years and all I got was a lousy $400k"

It seems like everyone has a friend, who on a study abroad trip to Spain, took to an excessive amount of Viagra, got an erection that lasted more than six hours and had to be hospitalized until the swelling subsided. Those crazy kids have nothing on this guy.

By now most of you will have have seen Steve Carell in the 40 year old virgin, what I hope none of you have seen is Charles Lennon in the 10 year old erection. Charles "Chick" Lennon, a former handyman from Providence, RI has been unable to hug, ride a bike, or wear his favorite speedos for the better part of the last decade because of a dysfunctional steel and plastic penile implant that has kept his penis fully erect. He even withdrew from his own family for fear of poking one of his grandchildren's eyes out. (Prince Charles and family pictured below.)

Like all good Americans, Chick sued Dacomed Corporation, manufacturer of the faulty Dura-II implant and he won. The good news for Mr. Lennon is that in 2004 a jury just awarded him $750,000. The bad news is that a judge recently reduced the award to $400,000, ruling that the previous amount was excessive. Excessive??? Excesive is a ten-year erection...